My Dearest Friend,
Of course this is a difficult time for you. The rug has been pulled out from under you and the best you can hope for is to land on your feet. I feel you are overwhelmed and all over the map with your thoughts and actions. Believe me I am sensitive to your entire situation. I take it into great consideration before I say anything to you because I know you are vulnerable. I also know you prefer not to be confronted with unpleasantries. You have had your quota of negativity and reject the slightest sign of more. I understand that mentality. What is unsettling for me is exactly what you said, “I am more aware of it than you are.” It seems you have been unable to face the facts. The reality of your situation is just entirely too painful to accept.
To me, you feel disconnected. From yourself, others, even me. I would assume this to be a survival technique learned at a very early age. You seem to implement this strategy so you may push ahead and carry on with the daily ‘have tos.’ I get it.
My concern is that your list of ‘have tos’ needs to be reprioritized. Otherwise you will repeat counterproductive behaviors that have been holding you hostage since childhood. This pattern must be broken for you to evolve into a better you.
I know you get lost in your own thoughts. They rush in and take over. You become completely overwhelmed and you resort to what is familiar (known) and in your mind—a safe way of thinking and acting. By staying BUSY you have an excuse not to focus on you and neglect what is truly important. It takes much more energy than you’ve been willing to give to break this cycle. When you feel drained, tired and sad it seems easier to handle things this way.
The problem with this method is that you never progress. It is one step forward and three steps backwards. You may even convince yourself unrealistically (if only for brief interludes) that you are doing better. Those who love and care about you see past that shielded persona and are left to wonder what they can and should say or do to help you that will not catapult you over the edge or ultimately make you withdraw.
I always feel concerned about pushing you too hard and adding to your confusion. On the other hand, I would not consider myself a true friend if I didn’t say these things and hold you in the the reality necessary for change.
I’m all about bringing the proverbial walls down so that help can get through. I nor anyone else can penetrate your conscious awareness if you barricade it.
As someone who is connected to you, I sense that you are guarded and afraid. Vibrations from your past reveal these emotions. You are carrying past hurt and devastation into present thoughts, circumstances and relationships. This transfer of energy into this period of now should be considered as your priority.
This is the law of attraction. I want you to mindfully understand and absorb what you put out into the universe is what will manifest. If you say one thing but your actions convey another, the universal powers that be will interpret the stronger more convincing of the two and that is what will be brought forth. Translation, you create self-sabotage and then wonder why the same problems are being dumped on your doorstep.
I can only hope that you realize I have always wanted and wished the very best for you. Even when you have done your damnedest to push me away. I honestly care and have cared about you even when you didn’t care about yourself.
I am here to help you pick up your fractured pieces if you will allow me to.
From the depths of my soul I pray you know that I have always been and will continue to be your dearest friend.
I love you and now it’s time for you to love yourself.
About the Author
Kaylee is a co-founder of Mind Body Spiritual Awareness. She has been mindfully aware of and practicing her psychic abilities since she was a child. Led by her spirit guides, Kaylee has obtained a vast wealth of knowledge and experience with the ethereal realm and alternative modalities of energy healing.